The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent- ok, only some of the names have been changed. So my friend Barb and I have been laughing for months because her husband has a theory- “If you go out in sweats in public, you have pretty much given up on life.” I find this to be hilarious, and somewhat true. It has been tradition over the last little bit that every time I am wearing sweats in public (which hopefully isn’t TOO often) I text to let her know I have given up.
In times past- I have never had negative ramifications for wearing sweats in public, until last night. I went to the gym and after went straight to the mall to meet my friend “R”. I previously agreed with her that it didn’t matter that I was gross, because no one would see us. I even sent Barb the traditional text saying “Yep, life is pretty much over- I am in sweats in the mall.” HA!
After the mall, “R”and I went to Chili’s for a little late night dinner. (At this point, I know that I am in sweats, and am fully aware that this probably is not the best choice!) During the dinner, we had fun and noticed a cute waiter. I didn’t think anything about it, and when we left- we noticed he was outside. So we waived and then drove away across the parking lot. We even said-dang we should have talked to him, what a fox! No sooner than two minutes later here he comes ZOOMING up behind us and gets out to talk to “us.” Ya, “us”- as in that there is no chance that he could actually want to talk to me looking the way I did. He was flirty- but not towards me! He couldn’t have cared if I said that I was a Maui Babe swimsuit model, or that I was going to earn a million dollars next year- all because of the SWEATS! Needless to say, after he got “R’s” number, we all drove our separate ways. That is not the end- after we drove away- he then called her so he could talk to her one-on-one. HAHA!
I feel like my 9th grade science teacher would be SO proud at this moment. I just did an experiment, a hypothesis, and the theory was PROVEN!
FACT: If you go in public in sweats, you have given up life. (Note: This will probably not stop me from doing it again!!)
5 comments:
Tricia! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wearing jammie pant's in public! Don't be too hard on yourself. You know all you have to do is to shimmy shimmy shake shake it and you can have any guy you want. Or you could do a sexy dive into a pool for him and he's all sorts of yours!!!
seriously??? the guy is a loser then. i say, if you wear sweats in public than you are comfortable with who you are!... although that could just be me making myself feel better. meh, i like it! sweats for life!
Mr. Morris would be really happy. Especially if you had chipped your tooth upon exiting. :)
I like your theory. I have to agree it is so true!
TBuck, the guy at Chili's is a looser. At least you had been to the gym. Thanks for the good laugh though. I agree, it's when I'm ugliest (yard work or cleaning on Saturday)that I see everyone at the store that night.
Ha Ha. You are funny! I am pretty sure that your hot face would remind the world that you really haven't given up on life. Ahhh but the sweet comfort of sweats on a cold day is WAY better than a waiter! :)
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